sacrifice a mediocre pleasure so as to free yourself to pursue a more exalted pleasure...

I refuse
to write about love
or knots in my throat
pains in my stomach
tears in my eyes
shortness of breath
heavy heart

spaced out thoughts

the world in slow motion
replaying moments
reassesing caresses
reaffirming statements


actions versus words

reanalyzing body
-in spaces

tongue tracing  thighs
kisses across the chest
cheek across cheek

fingers

interlaced
between lips
around neck

smiles
longing
distance
denial
calculations
desires
words
persistence

reassurances
doubts
...

it just wasn’t enough

so I refuse
to write about
    love

because I haven’t been in love
in a long time

and it is probably for the best
that this time around
he didn't let me

Nas told me life’s a bitch
Pac Said fuck the world
Biggie tried to lay it down
like he ruled New York
today KanWeezy
spit it like they’re the shit,
but their shit
don’t impress upon my mind,
stimulate,
make me try to emulate,
or assimilate
to loosely strung words,
like gold plated beads,
bound to rust

Just want to drop a line
to a beat,
and beat common sense
into deadbeat minds
to teach the commons
what Common taught me
about that girl with so much soul,
 ‘cause I got my own boo,
when we ride together,
we run the world

Laying back
sipping that tea
longing for success-
the Money, Cars, and Hos-
I suppose…
Yet suppose
I spend a little time,
educate the mind,
and re-educate the soul
so it can fuel the heart
to break free (from monotony)

On the streets they say
I, Self, Lord, and Master
while I turn my face east
five times a day
try to keep a humble gaze
and steady heart
and wait for it to fall into place

In my vision
I envision
a revision
redefine dreams,
reassess paths
in order to relocate goals,
so when the comfort sets in,
they’re even farther from reach
because I lust …for life,
and the material wont suffice,
so I embrace the strife
when I realize
it’s all a test
because if I’m not pushing
then I’m not pushing
to meet the Most High,
or to face myself.

for when they get me

they said you gotta ask the questions
if you want to know the answers
but i cant even formulate these enigmas
or reiterate
my predicament
into words, swords, daggers
that I carry around
in my carry on
side by side
with my iphone, ipod, ipad
anything but me
and right before touchdown
i aim these verses
and stand prepared cause
when they comin'
gunning'
for me-
Imma hold my position
and my ammunition
is my ambition
to struggle
strive
and someday articulate
the discomfort of conformity
and express that
ordinary-
is not suitable for me

i come from a place
where family matters
and we sip our tea with milk
but we're blindly swallowed
by the belly of consumerist society
blonde hair and blue eyes,
keep that hair straight
and that skin light
and you better watch your back
whether the president is blue or black
they'll do wrong till it becomes right
cause lady liberty sets the rules
and you're on the shit list
if the american dream aint on your wishlist

but you,
high on oil
strike at your own family tree
still suffering from colonial mentality
stokholm syndrome rationality
an at night
when the evil armies of shaitan are at play
make sure you have your say
and that your girls can sell that sex
and your boys can bend over low enough
to get walked over
because your fathers broke backs to liberate you
while you're pissing it all away
sold your soul
for porches and LV bags
and meticulously built up your cities
and tore down that sense of community
for terrestrial profits
while prophets become myth
and the serat al mustaqueem is even harder to navigate

knowledge?

I’m suffocating in classrooms
with no room
for my ambitions.
The future is depicted in color- coded schedules,
inflicted upon my black and white mind
restricted, constricted
slim fit, one size,
but my pear shape
don’t allow for this one mold,
I’m burning, yearning,
a nervous twitch
a lethal itch
to work beyond the sunny home
the 9- to- 5s,
just a clone of a clone of a clone

      Before the sun sets
      I want to do it all
      -Quick-
      ‘cause I got plans,
     and if all I have is one chance,
     -I’ll sit-
     ‘cause I’m not sure where I stand,
     I hear all I need is one God,
     one prayer
     forgiveness for one sin,
     but I’ve been rackin’ those in,
     so maybe I need a few more
    ‘cause my mind has gotten sore
     from banging into those walls
    ‘cause I’ve been trying to stay on that right path
     but this shit has gotten side-tracked

In the dead of night,
I’m trying to learn my lessons,
but I’ve never been taught,
so I try to listen
to that understanding of self,
in the culture of the streets,
repackaged to a beat,
where I can find the freedom,
the power,
    
to either build or destroy:

     wisdom and spirituality
     that mythical equality,   
     god in reality

cause it’s just a technicality,
when you find the significance: the essence of intelligence,

to step up
and submit.

go to sleep in paris, wake up in tokyo

I don't want to be your friend. I have plenty of friends.

The Thrill

She watches day break
from the top of a highrise
where she lives the high life
is fond of those high times
and watches the highlights,
no time for the real thing
to enjoy it all in real time
fast forward, replay, rewind

-then pause-

she thinks back to simple times
away from these low thoughts
far from these closed doors
which harbor heavy hearts,
and guard dirty minds
before the guilt crept slow,
found a home,
and brought some grey
to her brown eyes

When did she think
she wanted to live like this,
love like this,
lay back
kick back
and lie like this

But when the bright lights,
light up the dark night,
-All eyes on Me-
cause she can get in for free,
sit back in VIP,
With an ass like that,
and a dress so tight,
there’s no room for rationality,
and her modesty
she stuffed into her closet
next to her old toys
above her new stash
behind the hard liquor
that she let soak in
before a night out

I will remain a soldier until the war is won.

I am:

An amalgamation of what you see,
And what you don’t.
All of what you hear
And especially what you don’t.

My strengths and weaknesses.
My dreams.
My reality.
My crooked smile.
My aching ankle.
My curly hair.
My misconceptions.
My discretions.
My desires,
    To be
    To do
    To strive
And fall short.

My loud presence
When I’m sitting perfectly still
Wishing I spoke less
Listened more

My tapping foot
My shaking hips-
    Always
Everywhere
Everyday

My restlessness
And my wrestle to be,
Still
At peace
Far from reach
Reaching out
Outgoing
Outspoken
Outnumbered
    forever fighting

“I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic -- in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself.” 
Anais Nin


 

Huey's my man, but Riley's my boi

I denounce, I repudiate, and condemn him...basically, fuck him



http://boondocks.download-tvshows.com/the-boondocks-season-3/episode-1/


the new world order, doesn't seem too different to me.

Words.
Permanence.
Black on white. Ink on paper. Embedded. Embossed. Engraved. Unraveled.
A million thoughts, race a mile a minute
While I stand still.